You want something. Go for it. Period.

July!  July!!! And not a single post! Damn!! The world cup did put me in a coma. Spain winning it. Did they play the ‘best football’? i don’t think so but then i am no Gary Lineker. England underperformed and crashed another chance which looked ever so bright and they were tipped off to “do it” this time. Do what exactly that no one knows although everyone transformed themselves as football pundits who could solve any footie related issue. But the gaga will go on, thank God for EPL and more importantly Manchester United the others are just mere footnotes. Another season waits with the thrills and upsets; I want more thrills though, please!!!

Well, life takes all its twists and turns and pauses which permits you time to think and react. I for one am in that exact mode. I don’t know what to expect and when situations come my way I deal with them one at a time, that’s how I roll. On August 10, I shall turn 25 years old. A jubilee birth year, 2010, it’s also my favourite number the first double digits also the first to the triple digits and so on. You always start with a perfect “10”. I want to be a perfect 10, i want to be the first, I want to get on top of the heap, I want to be the better from my best, I want to be the first me.

Looking for employment in these tough times isn’t easy and job hunting seems like a full time occupation itself. Met with disappointments and one job interviewer said “Your too over qualified”. Some said they’ll get back, some said stay in touch, some said...nothing! But I haven’t given up. There has to be a job out there somewhere which suits you and has a calling. I feel such a vibe too and most of the times when I get a vibe I know something good is in store. I hope this good feeling vibe transcends into a dream opportunity.

Remember to keep yourself updated, socially active (i mean Social Networking tools Twitter, Facebook et all), well read, touch of humour and all your skills polished. You have to learn to sell yourself in the right light and grab the opportunity that knocks with a firm hand. You are your Mojo and you need to market your Mojo in a way that it makes an impression onto the mind and difficult to forget almost a photogenic one. Don’t go over the top but very classy and intelligently. Remember to do it “differently” that’s the smart approach. It’s not rocket science but it isn’t all easy either.

Don’t let failure discourage you because it’s all part of the script. Easier said than done but give it more than just one try. It’s all worth the effort. I am currently doing my Dissertation and at the same time looking for opportunities all over God’s green earth. Do you believe in God? Please do. Because when all are human efforts fail he is making his own beautiful plan for us. He works in mysterious ways we cannot see and makes it all right at the end. I don’t mean to get all preachy but the lord knows what we want. And all I want for my 25^th birthday would be a successful job opportunity to come my way. It would be a perfect gift.

So, don’t give up and don’t think it’s the end of the world if you get 10 “NOs” or even a 100, keeping pushing to get what you want. Because when you want something hard enough it eventually happens to you.

Good Luck in everything you do!

Be Awesome. Peace.

Its football time, Ladies!!!!

The World Cup is nearly here. So before the big kickoff arrives I just wanted to share things that are rattling around my head. Mostly I'm thinking about making sure to enjoy the World Cup, my first in the land that has undoubtedly the best football fans of the world. I am going to head to the pubs and enjoy the atmosphere and sing till my vocal cords go bust. Come on England...!

And although it’s an all man sport event, football is the sport I live for. 90 minutes of pure skills and yes clammy men who make sweat look gorgeous. Apart from the fact that the sport offers fit men, six packs, hunkyness galore...some women also watch it for the offside, dives, dribbles, defending, that naked guy who would make a run on the pitch and also guessing which team colour the ref is actually wearing. Yes, some of us women take our football seriously. Kapish.

I have a personal hatred towards men and their penis size brain which makes them think no end of themselves. No, i don’t swing the other way. But these silly Facebook groups and nonsense putting out of rules for WAGs is pure and utter garbage and sexists too. I mean WTF..!

On the flip side, there’s a segment of women that truly love the gridiron, and the experience that comes with it. They know the game, understand the communal aspect, organize watch parties, wear jerseys, and will sit right up and debate the average football fan. In some cases, there are some ladies who know more about the game than some dudes who run around and masquerade as preaching the football gospel, and since we’re all about equal opportunity this piece here is all about women who love the game.

Believe me when I say this: there are more women who love football than you men have been led to believe. They’re not behind some glass-panelled, bullet-proof partition at your local museum either. They really do exist; I’ve been fortunate enough to come across several of them. On top of that, these women know their stuff! If its Zena Costa the only women football writer in India’s football loving Goa, to my younger sisters who may not know the nitty-gritty but wear their team colours and cheer their team to me a totally football junkie. And tons of other pretty lassies out there.

It isn’t just limited to cyberspace, either. When kickoff is approaching, calls and texts come in from home girls, blog buddies, and other female acquaintances, and it isn’t like how you boys want lemon pepper or medium hot wings or if you’ve remembered to set your fantasy line-ups; there are some who are just as ready as men are to get to the stadium on game day, so we can tailgate, eat good, talk shit to the opposing teams’ fans, and just have fun. There are some who get utterly disgusted by hearing their phone ring, during any part of the game, just like men do. Yes indeed; there are women out there who are so into the game, that they don’t wanna be bothered by anyone, whatsoever...unless the person calling is watching the game (or another game that has implications) as well.

Also, there are women who have to deal with men who don’t understand their fascination with football. There could be a variety of reasons for this, but the ones that immediately come to mind are either (a) he likes the game too, but he’s intimidated by the fact that you know more than he does, or (b) he doesn’t like football, and if that’s the case, RUN IMMEDIATELY. It’s easier for a man to distance himself from a woman on game day if she doesn’t like football, but I can’t imagine (and don’t even wanna begin to) what a woman has to deal with when being with a dude who doesn’t understand or respect the fact that she’s into the game. All I can say about that is I hope your relationship, interaction, or whatever it is y’all call yourselves doing is strong, because if it ain't, run away from dude. The World Cup season is too short to be dealing with someone who doesn’t get it. Just run, and run fast.

So for the women who love the game wear your colours and enjoy this World Cup. I will be sporting the three lions on me and singing Vindaloooooooooooooooooooo....England!!!  

Be easy.

I could do with a HUG!

"We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth..." Virginia Satir

Stop. Put down that cup of tea. Drop that busy business person facade. Before you read any further, watch this video. Turn up your speaker. Loud. I’ll wait. In fact, I’ll watch it again with you. 

A tall young man named Juan Mann (pronounced “one man, “of course) takes to the streets with a simple white sign that says “Free Hugs.” People pass him by. They like me (whilst watching the video) look at him trying to figure out his deal – what’s he up to? Is he unbalanced? Is this a joke? What’s the story? And so it goes - in black and white – until a small, old bent woman stops for a hug. To reach down to her height. Tall Juan gets on his knees for the embrace. The black and white film blossoms into colour. People begin walking towards him instead of away, for a series of wonderful, joyful encounters - unexpected connection. Free exuberant hugs, hugs just for the sake of reaching out to another human being to connect. 

I am a hugger, and I’ll be honest and say I don’t offer them freely because I tend to read the person’s body language and many a times I end up pulling back. I for one don’t believe in throwing hugs and kisses away for free. But after watching Juan’s effort I can relate and believe that we all need a hug to feel loved, cared and simply happy. My American friend Lisa visited me in Bombay and she is always with open arms ready to hug absolutely anything. This was strange for me at times, I was curious and asked her “Why do you go hugging people?” her answer, “I am American I hug everything”. I didn’t know what to make of her politically correct statement. My sister Carolyn has the warmest hug and i miss her and her hugs dearly. She knows how to calm me down, if I am having a rough day or even when having fun. One wrap of the arms around me and I feel her warm energy ignite my weakness. It is joyous. It gives me hope. It lowers my blood pressure.

One of the best examples is airports, train stations or any place where people say goodbye for a long journey. Standing there in the arrivals terminal, watching other passengers meeting their waiting friends and family, with open arms and smiling faces, hugging and laughing together. I recently made a trip back home to Bombay, India and felt this exact emotion when I hugged my sister and dad, it’s an amazing rush of emotions and one can’t really put it in words. But when I arrived at Newcastle International Airport back from my holidays, there was no one at the arrival terminal, no one to hug or no one to feel happy to see me. But there were tons of other people who were eagerly waiting to hug, kiss and laugh together with their own family and friends this made me sad and happy at the same time.  Just a hug, just a smile, just a simple ‘welcome back’.

Jacques Prévert has written, “Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny instant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you.”  It feels as if we have lost some vital part of ourselves in a dense primordial forest of political correctness, awkward avoidance of other humans for fear of misunderstanding or offense, or the potential of sexual harassment charges, that siren song of “appropriate behaviour.” Why is a hug so fearful, I wonder? Is it that we have given up our need or our capacity for direct engagement? What fear drives our disconnect from one another?

 And what does free really mean? It means without condition, without expectation, freely given without cause or even without a determination of worthiness, without need or ulterior motive—how often do I really give freely? Are my gifts, instead, some odd expression of power or need on my own part?

The reason Juan Mann moved me so, I think, was that the free hugs were, in fact and in total, free. Give free hugs. At least four a day to survive. Aim for twelve. I have decided to make this a habit and offer a friendly hug to all my dear ones. These random acts of kindness, a selfless act performed by a person for the sole reason of making others feel better. So, the next time I bump into you a warm hug awaits you. 

Stop looking for your voice. Instead, start figuring out what you have to say.

KISS = STD and some interesting Facts..!

Ok, firstly, i don’t want you thinking that i am some freak trying to educated people about kissing or anything that comes along with it. I write about what i feel i should and yes, i spend enough time reading about the topic and getting my facts right, i don’t bluff.

Besides, we live in an age of extreme sexual tension, we have extreme fantasy and some may even be lucky to fulfil the ‘Things to do before i Die’ list. And some of us just die anyway. But the latest death trends have been through STDs and HIV-AIDS, all because the awareness is too little. And it all begins with a KISS.

My previous post was about that perfect pair of lips going to work with the one who brings out the best in you. Although some are out there wasting and throwing their kisses those are the ones we all need to be careful of.

Gonorrhea is a STD. It is also called clap. Bacteria spread gonorrhea. Most of us believe that kissing is very harmless. But kissing can cause Gonorrhea. Let me tell you more.

Gonorrhea - the affected areas
Gonorrhea bacteria affect most of the places in the body with mucous membrane. That includes the genitals, the anus and rectum, throat, and possibly eyes. The bacteria pass from secretions of any of the affected areas. Once your mucous membrane comes in contact with secretions of an infected person, you may contact Gonorrhea. Any sexual activity will transfer the bacteria. If the bacterium has invaded the throat of the infected person, a kiss will transfer it. If such a person performs oral sex on you, you will get Gonorrhea.

Gonorrhea complications-
Gonorrhea is a disease, which is better avoided. If it is left untreated, it can cause infertility in both men and women. In men it may even close the urethra , infect the testicles and create other complications, In women it may infect the fallopian tubes and may cause PID- Pelvic Inflammatory Disease which then leads to Cervical Cancer.

Gonorrhea - the early symptoms
Yellowish discharge from the penis or vagina, painful passing of stools, burning sensation in the genitals are some of the common symptoms of Gonorrhea.

 I have written this post only for informative purposes. This article is not intended to be a medical advice and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult your doctor for your medical concerns. I am no expert but one must read about it on the internet under reliable sources and please don’t take this as a be all and end all of the STD. This is just my research i thought it must be shared.

But all is not Gloom...KISS, some interesting Facts..!

•  It is a matter of record that Canadian porcupines kiss one another on the lips.
• The world's longest kiss took place on January 28, 2002. Louisa Almodovar and Rich Langly of New Jersey kissed for a record 30 hours, 59 minutes and 27 seconds on a segment of "Ricki Lake"
• Matrimonial pollsters' studies prove that a man who kisses his wife good-bye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than does the fellow who doesn't do that thing.
•  In medieval Italy kisses weren't taken, or given, lightly. If a man and a woman were seen embracing in public they could be forced to marry!
•  Our brains have special neurons that help us locate each other’s lips in the dark. (It's really true too! I've tried it!)
•  It is estimated that the average person will spend about 20,160 minutes kissing in their lifetime.
• You burn 26 calories in a 1 minute kiss.
• The first kiss ever shown in a movie was in 1896. The movie was called The Kiss.
• Hershey's Kisses got their name because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
• 50% of all people kiss before they turn 14. Kissing helps reduce tooth decay. Kissing increases the mouth's production of saliva, and saliva helps clean the mouth thus aides prevention of tooth decay.

PS: Happy Kissing. But handle them with care. Stay healthy.

It’s all in the Kiss..!

Most everyone loves a good, knee-buckling kiss. Lips lock, tongues are exploring, tasting, testing, circling, and arousing the very sensitive lips and inner mouth. It’s part of loving and simple magic and quite frankly, I don’t think there is anything that could be half as good – than a pucker on the lips.

The question may arise as to where kissing began? When did it become part of our life? For sure, caveman didn’t take time to plant a smooch on cavewoman. He just dragged her by the hair, bent her over a boulder, sniffed her butt and pillowed! No foreplay; at least not in the sense in which we define foreplay today. Perhaps that hair drag and butt sniffing routine was all the rage back then.

But where did it begin? Do we even know? Scientists link kissing back to ancient times when mothers chewed food to soften it for their children. This piece of information doesn’t work for me. More scientists believe that kissing is linked to suckling which every baby born must first do to survive. This one might work for the men.

Anthropologists have unearthed information that as early as 2000 B.C. various cultures thought that touching mouths together meant the joining of two souls. Now this sounds more likely to appeal to women. In addition, although the first recorded erotic kiss was shown to be in 1500 B.C. in India, the French were and are still given credit for the tongue tango we commonly refer to today as the French kiss. Its original name was the Maraichinage, or prolonged kiss.

There’s a great deal of information in the Kama Sutra about kissing, types of kisses, and how the Lat countries incorporated kissing on the thighs which the Chinese found just plain wrong! I’m assuming that the Lat countries are the Latin countries because I just can’t think of anyone else besides a hot-blooded Latin male who might venture down that garden path! But I digress.

University of Albany study conducted showed that there are significant differences between the sexes in the use of kissing. It states that men kiss as a means to an end; to get what they want (sex) or to say “I’m sorry” (which is still a means to an end for them).On the other hand, women use kissing to test and monitor where the relationship is going, and to get little updates on the current status of that relationship. My guess is if the kiss isn’t what it should be, the women get suspicious! All this is well and good, but what exactly happens physically that makes us all gaga over a good kiss? 

Well, just as the genitals are full of millions of ultra-sensitive nerve endings, so is the mouth and lips. When one mouth touches another, millions of signals hit the brain at once and start getting processed. The message is usually clear; “Release the Oxytocin!” Oxytocin is a feel-good, natural hormone that acts like a love opiate on the body. This hormone is released with several others together into the blood stream and a sense of euphoria follows. Kissing starts the trickle, and orgasm brings on the flood! Yes, yes!

However, more than just a good kiss is required by women to feel the level of bonding that men experience with just a kiss. Strangely enough, the U of Albany study showed that the level of Oxytocin rose in men during a kiss while it lessened in women. Kind of explains why men don’t often spend as much time in foreplay with women. They’re already there! They don’t realize that a woman’s sexual chemistry cocktail needs more stimulation. “Excuse me; I could use another refill here!”

Kissing evolved with courtship which, in turn, evolved the kissing. More and more, women began demanding kissing as part of lovemaking. In modern times, women won’t have sex without it, while some men have expressed they could have sex sans kissing. It’s a compromise. Women want kissing, and men want sex. Consider it a fair-market exchange. Women and even many men now place great importance and significance on the kiss.

I remember having a conversation with my best friend about how it would feel to kiss the man of my dreams. She said you would feel as if you have drunk litres of Red Bull, because his kiss will give you wings. Although, the idea sounds totally wicked (in a good way) i didn’t want wings, not really. All i want to hear while i kiss the man is bells and state of the art firecrackers and a foot pop, like they did in the good old days. Yes, i am old school, but then i like surprises and most of us women always wish that men surprise us always, if only they were more creative.

But still, it all starts with a kiss, a GOOD kiss, because no other kind will do. So the next time you grab your lover by the ears and plant one on him or her, think of all the wonder and magic that happens within the body the moment that you’re oh so sensitive lips meet. Okay, don’t think about it then. Maybe later. Much, much later!
 

A series of post will follow on this topic educating you of the pros and cons. First timers, take notes...!

For the rest. Happy Kissing.

Man, my BFF

Just because I am a feminist in many ways doesn’t mean I have no male friends. In fact some of my best buds are of the opposite sex. I have always been a keen admire of ‘man’ because I strongly believe that they are more confused in life than us women. I initially planned on writing this post picking out my best male friends but I can’t do that I would clearly offend so many. And you know how men are they get carried away so easy...Oi, I am not your friend or what?’ So instead I have decided to analysis the quote of Oscar Wilde who famously said ‘‘Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.’’


Seriously, no friendship? I know there would be a clear cut majority who would say, Aye, Oscar Wilde is spot on and the other half who would argue otherwise. And there are some fence-sitters, like me, who would say well there could be exceptions about certain male friends. I mean, it would be quite weird if you kissed your best friend, wouldn’t it? Unless you were drunk, of course. But there’s nothing wrong if your 4am friend is a male.

Men are a creation of God that women loathe and the reasons for it are endless and repeating it here is useless so I am just going to jump the gun and get on with it, ok! I know of a good friend who is in a relationship with a girl he met during his college days and they have been seeing each other since. But he and I have been friend’s way before the ‘girl’ came into his life. She is easily irritated if I am around, feeling of insecurity, I’d say. But why? Can’t you see that he loves you; he gets roses for you, makes dinner reservations for you, and spends his money shopping for you. Don’t get me started about Valentine’s Day..! I see no harm in a male-female bonding as ‘FRIENDS’ as long as everybody’s on the same page, opposite sex friends can be fantastic for a couple.

If a boyfriend/husband/partner play tennis, have a drink, watch a movie or play ping-pong on weekends or any other day of the week, he need not be a candidate for incipient infidelity. Only those who suspect that every friendship between a man and woman has sexual intercourse as its natural goal will label every friendship as adultery of intent. The line between tolerable friendships can be recognised not by rules but by imaginative discernment.

I can hear my female friends waiting to kill me half way through the post...but hang on ladies, I am not glorifying affairs, and one night stands et all. All I am saying is that an unadulterated friendship can exist between a man and a woman. Clearly, there are those who take advantage but it is up to us women too, to be smart, astute and clear in the head that ‘This MAN is NOT for ME. Nothing but a Friend’ and if you can’t separate the emotion of you falling for your male friends just don’t put up the whole ‘Oh, I can’t have him so I’ll stay friends with him....’ Bollocks, I say! You either get what you want or you just move. Giving him the tag of ‘friend’ is doing no good to you. Find yourself a man who wants you too and will contribute the same energy into making something work. And you know how men are they need to be told and taught everything. Twats!

But then if you have to remain friends remember to play it smart, very smart. I haven’t cracked the code but read on this could be helpful. Not to be preachy but we woman get excited too easily and then end up with someone who can’t be exciting anymore not only in bed but the whole relation just fades out. We are afraid to use the three magic words; no it not ‘Please fuck me’ but ‘Thank You, Please and Sorry’. Both men and woman need to learn to recover their ways of doing things that keeps the excitement going. The recovery of errors is also a recovery of play an important dimension of friendship. The recovery of play is an invitation to friendship. Playfulness means the devaluation of control. Play involves the capacity to trust and to surrender to the moment. So also with friendship. Friendship has no achievement agenda, no task orientation. Of course, friends often do things together. They embark on common task and tackle common agendas. They stand side by side facing something to be done.

A man’s heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant. And in these vacant rooms, the man treasures his other ‘best’ ‘female’ ‘friend(s)’ who give him the space to let him be him, listen to him, question him, laugh at jokes, play silly mind games and just have a good old time. Is this a crime? Oscar Wilde would say Yes, tons of women who don’t like their boyfriends talking to other women would say yes; Women who are insecure would scream and even send a death threat along with hating. But, pause... and reflect.

Men are easily fooled, no matter how smart otherwise. But true friendship with a man isn’t always with both of them ending in bed; well they could sit on it and talk or play Uno! And it’s for the woman in his heart to realise; it’s time to play Uno, No. But to accept that there is always that one person he has to talk to and feel content, there is always that one person who gives him a knock on the head and says Come on now don’t be a twat.!, there is always that person who stands beside him like a rock in case you can’t put up with his nonsense. Men marry their Barbie Dolls and even though these Dolls are perfect with everything on the checklist, it isn’t enough..!

Hence, the friendship between a man a woman is often letting go of the need to prove one’s usefulness. It means valuing the presence of each other just for their owns sake. It is enough just to be with. That is playful, and that is gracious. The recovery of errors and its playfulness means the recovery of pleasure. Friendship both depends and thrives on it.

I know that most of my female friends would disagree and say a man has to be faithful and if he has to share something, let him share it with me I am the one who is in a relationship with, isn’t he? Yes, indeed. But always bear in mind we need our mediators to make us ready to get what we want and usually it’s the ‘best friend’ who will make your man ready to face you about things you are not comfortable about.

I am not defending the ‘MAN’ but I am educating the ‘WOMAN’ arise from your slumber and old school thoughts, it’s the new media age, enjoy a little healthy competition and if need be watch and learn. Your man is your man and his best friend is his to keep. And if all live by thinking from the right side of our brain, the world would be a happier place to live. Oscar Wilde, I have no intentions to prove you wrong but then I guess Impossible is nothing and there can be ‘FRIENDSHIP’ between men and women.

To my 3 favourite men in Bombay: Moulin, Sherwin n Rohan be good and play safe. See you lads in England soon ;)