I could do with a HUG!

"We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth..." Virginia Satir

Stop. Put down that cup of tea. Drop that busy business person facade. Before you read any further, watch this video. Turn up your speaker. Loud. I’ll wait. In fact, I’ll watch it again with you. 

A tall young man named Juan Mann (pronounced “one man, “of course) takes to the streets with a simple white sign that says “Free Hugs.” People pass him by. They like me (whilst watching the video) look at him trying to figure out his deal – what’s he up to? Is he unbalanced? Is this a joke? What’s the story? And so it goes - in black and white – until a small, old bent woman stops for a hug. To reach down to her height. Tall Juan gets on his knees for the embrace. The black and white film blossoms into colour. People begin walking towards him instead of away, for a series of wonderful, joyful encounters - unexpected connection. Free exuberant hugs, hugs just for the sake of reaching out to another human being to connect. 

I am a hugger, and I’ll be honest and say I don’t offer them freely because I tend to read the person’s body language and many a times I end up pulling back. I for one don’t believe in throwing hugs and kisses away for free. But after watching Juan’s effort I can relate and believe that we all need a hug to feel loved, cared and simply happy. My American friend Lisa visited me in Bombay and she is always with open arms ready to hug absolutely anything. This was strange for me at times, I was curious and asked her “Why do you go hugging people?” her answer, “I am American I hug everything”. I didn’t know what to make of her politically correct statement. My sister Carolyn has the warmest hug and i miss her and her hugs dearly. She knows how to calm me down, if I am having a rough day or even when having fun. One wrap of the arms around me and I feel her warm energy ignite my weakness. It is joyous. It gives me hope. It lowers my blood pressure.

One of the best examples is airports, train stations or any place where people say goodbye for a long journey. Standing there in the arrivals terminal, watching other passengers meeting their waiting friends and family, with open arms and smiling faces, hugging and laughing together. I recently made a trip back home to Bombay, India and felt this exact emotion when I hugged my sister and dad, it’s an amazing rush of emotions and one can’t really put it in words. But when I arrived at Newcastle International Airport back from my holidays, there was no one at the arrival terminal, no one to hug or no one to feel happy to see me. But there were tons of other people who were eagerly waiting to hug, kiss and laugh together with their own family and friends this made me sad and happy at the same time.  Just a hug, just a smile, just a simple ‘welcome back’.

Jacques Prévert has written, “Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny instant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you.”  It feels as if we have lost some vital part of ourselves in a dense primordial forest of political correctness, awkward avoidance of other humans for fear of misunderstanding or offense, or the potential of sexual harassment charges, that siren song of “appropriate behaviour.” Why is a hug so fearful, I wonder? Is it that we have given up our need or our capacity for direct engagement? What fear drives our disconnect from one another?

 And what does free really mean? It means without condition, without expectation, freely given without cause or even without a determination of worthiness, without need or ulterior motive—how often do I really give freely? Are my gifts, instead, some odd expression of power or need on my own part?

The reason Juan Mann moved me so, I think, was that the free hugs were, in fact and in total, free. Give free hugs. At least four a day to survive. Aim for twelve. I have decided to make this a habit and offer a friendly hug to all my dear ones. These random acts of kindness, a selfless act performed by a person for the sole reason of making others feel better. So, the next time I bump into you a warm hug awaits you. 

Stop looking for your voice. Instead, start figuring out what you have to say.

KISS = STD and some interesting Facts..!

Ok, firstly, i don’t want you thinking that i am some freak trying to educated people about kissing or anything that comes along with it. I write about what i feel i should and yes, i spend enough time reading about the topic and getting my facts right, i don’t bluff.

Besides, we live in an age of extreme sexual tension, we have extreme fantasy and some may even be lucky to fulfil the ‘Things to do before i Die’ list. And some of us just die anyway. But the latest death trends have been through STDs and HIV-AIDS, all because the awareness is too little. And it all begins with a KISS.

My previous post was about that perfect pair of lips going to work with the one who brings out the best in you. Although some are out there wasting and throwing their kisses those are the ones we all need to be careful of.

Gonorrhea is a STD. It is also called clap. Bacteria spread gonorrhea. Most of us believe that kissing is very harmless. But kissing can cause Gonorrhea. Let me tell you more.

Gonorrhea - the affected areas
Gonorrhea bacteria affect most of the places in the body with mucous membrane. That includes the genitals, the anus and rectum, throat, and possibly eyes. The bacteria pass from secretions of any of the affected areas. Once your mucous membrane comes in contact with secretions of an infected person, you may contact Gonorrhea. Any sexual activity will transfer the bacteria. If the bacterium has invaded the throat of the infected person, a kiss will transfer it. If such a person performs oral sex on you, you will get Gonorrhea.

Gonorrhea complications-
Gonorrhea is a disease, which is better avoided. If it is left untreated, it can cause infertility in both men and women. In men it may even close the urethra , infect the testicles and create other complications, In women it may infect the fallopian tubes and may cause PID- Pelvic Inflammatory Disease which then leads to Cervical Cancer.

Gonorrhea - the early symptoms
Yellowish discharge from the penis or vagina, painful passing of stools, burning sensation in the genitals are some of the common symptoms of Gonorrhea.

 I have written this post only for informative purposes. This article is not intended to be a medical advice and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult your doctor for your medical concerns. I am no expert but one must read about it on the internet under reliable sources and please don’t take this as a be all and end all of the STD. This is just my research i thought it must be shared.

But all is not Gloom...KISS, some interesting Facts..!

•  It is a matter of record that Canadian porcupines kiss one another on the lips.
• The world's longest kiss took place on January 28, 2002. Louisa Almodovar and Rich Langly of New Jersey kissed for a record 30 hours, 59 minutes and 27 seconds on a segment of "Ricki Lake"
• Matrimonial pollsters' studies prove that a man who kisses his wife good-bye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than does the fellow who doesn't do that thing.
•  In medieval Italy kisses weren't taken, or given, lightly. If a man and a woman were seen embracing in public they could be forced to marry!
•  Our brains have special neurons that help us locate each other’s lips in the dark. (It's really true too! I've tried it!)
•  It is estimated that the average person will spend about 20,160 minutes kissing in their lifetime.
• You burn 26 calories in a 1 minute kiss.
• The first kiss ever shown in a movie was in 1896. The movie was called The Kiss.
• Hershey's Kisses got their name because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
• 50% of all people kiss before they turn 14. Kissing helps reduce tooth decay. Kissing increases the mouth's production of saliva, and saliva helps clean the mouth thus aides prevention of tooth decay.

PS: Happy Kissing. But handle them with care. Stay healthy.

It’s all in the Kiss..!

Most everyone loves a good, knee-buckling kiss. Lips lock, tongues are exploring, tasting, testing, circling, and arousing the very sensitive lips and inner mouth. It’s part of loving and simple magic and quite frankly, I don’t think there is anything that could be half as good – than a pucker on the lips.

The question may arise as to where kissing began? When did it become part of our life? For sure, caveman didn’t take time to plant a smooch on cavewoman. He just dragged her by the hair, bent her over a boulder, sniffed her butt and pillowed! No foreplay; at least not in the sense in which we define foreplay today. Perhaps that hair drag and butt sniffing routine was all the rage back then.

But where did it begin? Do we even know? Scientists link kissing back to ancient times when mothers chewed food to soften it for their children. This piece of information doesn’t work for me. More scientists believe that kissing is linked to suckling which every baby born must first do to survive. This one might work for the men.

Anthropologists have unearthed information that as early as 2000 B.C. various cultures thought that touching mouths together meant the joining of two souls. Now this sounds more likely to appeal to women. In addition, although the first recorded erotic kiss was shown to be in 1500 B.C. in India, the French were and are still given credit for the tongue tango we commonly refer to today as the French kiss. Its original name was the Maraichinage, or prolonged kiss.

There’s a great deal of information in the Kama Sutra about kissing, types of kisses, and how the Lat countries incorporated kissing on the thighs which the Chinese found just plain wrong! I’m assuming that the Lat countries are the Latin countries because I just can’t think of anyone else besides a hot-blooded Latin male who might venture down that garden path! But I digress.

University of Albany study conducted showed that there are significant differences between the sexes in the use of kissing. It states that men kiss as a means to an end; to get what they want (sex) or to say “I’m sorry” (which is still a means to an end for them).On the other hand, women use kissing to test and monitor where the relationship is going, and to get little updates on the current status of that relationship. My guess is if the kiss isn’t what it should be, the women get suspicious! All this is well and good, but what exactly happens physically that makes us all gaga over a good kiss? 

Well, just as the genitals are full of millions of ultra-sensitive nerve endings, so is the mouth and lips. When one mouth touches another, millions of signals hit the brain at once and start getting processed. The message is usually clear; “Release the Oxytocin!” Oxytocin is a feel-good, natural hormone that acts like a love opiate on the body. This hormone is released with several others together into the blood stream and a sense of euphoria follows. Kissing starts the trickle, and orgasm brings on the flood! Yes, yes!

However, more than just a good kiss is required by women to feel the level of bonding that men experience with just a kiss. Strangely enough, the U of Albany study showed that the level of Oxytocin rose in men during a kiss while it lessened in women. Kind of explains why men don’t often spend as much time in foreplay with women. They’re already there! They don’t realize that a woman’s sexual chemistry cocktail needs more stimulation. “Excuse me; I could use another refill here!”

Kissing evolved with courtship which, in turn, evolved the kissing. More and more, women began demanding kissing as part of lovemaking. In modern times, women won’t have sex without it, while some men have expressed they could have sex sans kissing. It’s a compromise. Women want kissing, and men want sex. Consider it a fair-market exchange. Women and even many men now place great importance and significance on the kiss.

I remember having a conversation with my best friend about how it would feel to kiss the man of my dreams. She said you would feel as if you have drunk litres of Red Bull, because his kiss will give you wings. Although, the idea sounds totally wicked (in a good way) i didn’t want wings, not really. All i want to hear while i kiss the man is bells and state of the art firecrackers and a foot pop, like they did in the good old days. Yes, i am old school, but then i like surprises and most of us women always wish that men surprise us always, if only they were more creative.

But still, it all starts with a kiss, a GOOD kiss, because no other kind will do. So the next time you grab your lover by the ears and plant one on him or her, think of all the wonder and magic that happens within the body the moment that you’re oh so sensitive lips meet. Okay, don’t think about it then. Maybe later. Much, much later!
 

A series of post will follow on this topic educating you of the pros and cons. First timers, take notes...!

For the rest. Happy Kissing.