Life of a Vagabond

I struggle to define myself. Am I a vagabond? An unemployed 20-something with no future? Will the job come my way? When?

The last 13 months of my life have been spent studying for my Masters Degree in Media Studies and wandering to find a direction to life. The economic situation hasn’t been helpful to most of us.

After handing in my dissertation, like many of my peers I had no real clue as to what to do with my life. I did what anyone with an insatiable travel bug would do and took off to anywhere i got invited to stay for free. With limited cash in the pocket i can contribute only towards grocery and cheap fare travel.  An exotic destination wasn’t really a budget i could manage right now.

These destinations have been quickly turning into a mundane daily rhythm that is full of obstacles, frustrations and existential questions. At the end of my free imposing stay with friends, the travel-bug and existential questions were still there. I have no choice but to keep travelling wherever goodwill people are ready to have me.Life lessons are the most important thing we can bring back with us from our travels.

Some people made me feel like I needed to define a goal for myself, so that all this travelling and wandering would lead to something concrete. In trying to quell their concerns, I realized that I really didn’t have an answer about my goals.

And then some give their five cent by telling me how part time jobs should be my look out for now. Learn to fry chips, serve a burger and wipe tables. I have nothing against the people who do these jobs and I have this as a last option.

Three stops, several undeveloped thoughts about the future and one minor brain freeze later, I’ve learned that what I was doing all of this time was defining myself as a human being; in finding my niche as an individual and I was learning how I wanted to live. Too much pressure from Dad to get a job is making the mind a confused paradise. I know he wants me to get a job and settle in but the rush he is in is an uncomfortable pace for me.

Now, as I try to establish a normal routine, I hold onto lessons from the road. They are my support system, reminding me of whom I am and where I have been.

Here are 4 of the most important life lessons I learned while travelling.

 1. Focus on the “now”

When the path ahead of us is unclear, it’s easy to question what we are doing with our lives.  Society teaches us that we should go to school and get on a career path.

But some of us want some time off in between school and careers. Yes, we all want great jobs where we feel good about the work we do, but some of us want to postpone, and in some cases escape, the 9-5 lifestyle.

For those of us destined to walk down this path, it’s inevitable that others will ask questions:

§  “So what exactly are you doing on this trip?”

§  “What do you expect to do when you get back?”

§  “Don’t you have a five year plan?”

These are all questions that you do not need to have an answer to – remember that it’s OK to just travel for the sake of travel. And to make plans as long as you can fall back on them. There is a wise saying “Only Fools rush in” don’t be in a haste but plan well.

There is plenty of time in life to follow schedules and make five year plans, but travelling is about taking a breather from high intensity, stressful society and relearning how to focus on the present. This teaches you to deal with life on a day to day basis.

2. Embrace the ordinary

Being open to possibility is the only thing that allows us to move forward. Often we find that the reality of travel is very different from our dreams. Yet without those illusions about the travelling lifestyle, we may never have had the courage to hit the road in the first place.

Talk to anyone who has studied, travelled or worked abroad and they will tell you about the difference between glamorous expectations and normal everyday routines.

Travelling is about breaking out of our own personal boundaries.

When we travel for extended periods of time we see that not everything is as exotic first thought. Television ads in a foreign country may seem weird as long as we hear them in that foreign language, but as soon as we get a sense of the language, the ads seem as absurd as anything at home.

Long-term travel is not about constantly seeking the extraordinary, but coming to terms with the ordinary itself. It’s about learning to appreciate the simpler moments that everyday life offers.

3. Push your comfort levels

Travelling is about breaking out of our own personal boundaries. No matter the length of time, be it one week or a whole year, just being in a new place forces us to push ourselves.

We are obliged to memorize a string of strange sounding words just to order a simple coffee, master new public transportation systems, learn how to use unfamiliar toilets and ask for directions by way of body language, pictures and the common language of laughter.

In new places we want to be able to handle the situation, and so we force ourselves to learn.

While on the Vagabond mode living with different people also allows you to pick habits which can be beneficial for one and get along with people you may never again meet in your lifetime. Also being open to the advice you get along the way is something one must pick with a humble heart. It’s useful for the long run of life.

4. Stay flexible

If travel teaches us anything at all, it’s that an itinerary can change at the drop of a hat. Buses break down, hurricanes roll in and travellers get sick.

Being a good traveller means always having a backup plan or being ready to think of one. My difficulty with the five year plan was because I am always ready to do something different. And i am not a routine person i like to go with the flow, i like being spontaneous.

In our travels we can never predict the future and the same holds true for our “regular” lives back at home. Staying flexible allows us to achieve what we truly believe in even if that means sailing off course. It allows us to push our boundaries and move beyond what we, and others, think is possible.

5. Pray

Its very important to stay in touch with the Almighty and know his will. And pray is a powerful tool which allows us to stay in level with the God. And while on the road and living life off the suit case his love always gives us strength. As we travel he takes care as we meet strangers who go out of their way to show you directions, some will share some of their change as well, help you with your heavy luggage and strike a friendly conversation. Always meditate and pray it always HELPS! 

You want something. Go for it. Period.

July!  July!!! And not a single post! Damn!! The world cup did put me in a coma. Spain winning it. Did they play the ‘best football’? i don’t think so but then i am no Gary Lineker. England underperformed and crashed another chance which looked ever so bright and they were tipped off to “do it” this time. Do what exactly that no one knows although everyone transformed themselves as football pundits who could solve any footie related issue. But the gaga will go on, thank God for EPL and more importantly Manchester United the others are just mere footnotes. Another season waits with the thrills and upsets; I want more thrills though, please!!!

Well, life takes all its twists and turns and pauses which permits you time to think and react. I for one am in that exact mode. I don’t know what to expect and when situations come my way I deal with them one at a time, that’s how I roll. On August 10, I shall turn 25 years old. A jubilee birth year, 2010, it’s also my favourite number the first double digits also the first to the triple digits and so on. You always start with a perfect “10”. I want to be a perfect 10, i want to be the first, I want to get on top of the heap, I want to be the better from my best, I want to be the first me.

Looking for employment in these tough times isn’t easy and job hunting seems like a full time occupation itself. Met with disappointments and one job interviewer said “Your too over qualified”. Some said they’ll get back, some said stay in touch, some said...nothing! But I haven’t given up. There has to be a job out there somewhere which suits you and has a calling. I feel such a vibe too and most of the times when I get a vibe I know something good is in store. I hope this good feeling vibe transcends into a dream opportunity.

Remember to keep yourself updated, socially active (i mean Social Networking tools Twitter, Facebook et all), well read, touch of humour and all your skills polished. You have to learn to sell yourself in the right light and grab the opportunity that knocks with a firm hand. You are your Mojo and you need to market your Mojo in a way that it makes an impression onto the mind and difficult to forget almost a photogenic one. Don’t go over the top but very classy and intelligently. Remember to do it “differently” that’s the smart approach. It’s not rocket science but it isn’t all easy either.

Don’t let failure discourage you because it’s all part of the script. Easier said than done but give it more than just one try. It’s all worth the effort. I am currently doing my Dissertation and at the same time looking for opportunities all over God’s green earth. Do you believe in God? Please do. Because when all are human efforts fail he is making his own beautiful plan for us. He works in mysterious ways we cannot see and makes it all right at the end. I don’t mean to get all preachy but the lord knows what we want. And all I want for my 25^th birthday would be a successful job opportunity to come my way. It would be a perfect gift.

So, don’t give up and don’t think it’s the end of the world if you get 10 “NOs” or even a 100, keeping pushing to get what you want. Because when you want something hard enough it eventually happens to you.

Good Luck in everything you do!

Be Awesome. Peace.

Its football time, Ladies!!!!

The World Cup is nearly here. So before the big kickoff arrives I just wanted to share things that are rattling around my head. Mostly I'm thinking about making sure to enjoy the World Cup, my first in the land that has undoubtedly the best football fans of the world. I am going to head to the pubs and enjoy the atmosphere and sing till my vocal cords go bust. Come on England...!

And although it’s an all man sport event, football is the sport I live for. 90 minutes of pure skills and yes clammy men who make sweat look gorgeous. Apart from the fact that the sport offers fit men, six packs, hunkyness galore...some women also watch it for the offside, dives, dribbles, defending, that naked guy who would make a run on the pitch and also guessing which team colour the ref is actually wearing. Yes, some of us women take our football seriously. Kapish.

I have a personal hatred towards men and their penis size brain which makes them think no end of themselves. No, i don’t swing the other way. But these silly Facebook groups and nonsense putting out of rules for WAGs is pure and utter garbage and sexists too. I mean WTF..!

On the flip side, there’s a segment of women that truly love the gridiron, and the experience that comes with it. They know the game, understand the communal aspect, organize watch parties, wear jerseys, and will sit right up and debate the average football fan. In some cases, there are some ladies who know more about the game than some dudes who run around and masquerade as preaching the football gospel, and since we’re all about equal opportunity this piece here is all about women who love the game.

Believe me when I say this: there are more women who love football than you men have been led to believe. They’re not behind some glass-panelled, bullet-proof partition at your local museum either. They really do exist; I’ve been fortunate enough to come across several of them. On top of that, these women know their stuff! If its Zena Costa the only women football writer in India’s football loving Goa, to my younger sisters who may not know the nitty-gritty but wear their team colours and cheer their team to me a totally football junkie. And tons of other pretty lassies out there.

It isn’t just limited to cyberspace, either. When kickoff is approaching, calls and texts come in from home girls, blog buddies, and other female acquaintances, and it isn’t like how you boys want lemon pepper or medium hot wings or if you’ve remembered to set your fantasy line-ups; there are some who are just as ready as men are to get to the stadium on game day, so we can tailgate, eat good, talk shit to the opposing teams’ fans, and just have fun. There are some who get utterly disgusted by hearing their phone ring, during any part of the game, just like men do. Yes indeed; there are women out there who are so into the game, that they don’t wanna be bothered by anyone, whatsoever...unless the person calling is watching the game (or another game that has implications) as well.

Also, there are women who have to deal with men who don’t understand their fascination with football. There could be a variety of reasons for this, but the ones that immediately come to mind are either (a) he likes the game too, but he’s intimidated by the fact that you know more than he does, or (b) he doesn’t like football, and if that’s the case, RUN IMMEDIATELY. It’s easier for a man to distance himself from a woman on game day if she doesn’t like football, but I can’t imagine (and don’t even wanna begin to) what a woman has to deal with when being with a dude who doesn’t understand or respect the fact that she’s into the game. All I can say about that is I hope your relationship, interaction, or whatever it is y’all call yourselves doing is strong, because if it ain't, run away from dude. The World Cup season is too short to be dealing with someone who doesn’t get it. Just run, and run fast.

So for the women who love the game wear your colours and enjoy this World Cup. I will be sporting the three lions on me and singing Vindaloooooooooooooooooooo....England!!!  

Be easy.

I could do with a HUG!

"We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth..." Virginia Satir

Stop. Put down that cup of tea. Drop that busy business person facade. Before you read any further, watch this video. Turn up your speaker. Loud. I’ll wait. In fact, I’ll watch it again with you. 

A tall young man named Juan Mann (pronounced “one man, “of course) takes to the streets with a simple white sign that says “Free Hugs.” People pass him by. They like me (whilst watching the video) look at him trying to figure out his deal – what’s he up to? Is he unbalanced? Is this a joke? What’s the story? And so it goes - in black and white – until a small, old bent woman stops for a hug. To reach down to her height. Tall Juan gets on his knees for the embrace. The black and white film blossoms into colour. People begin walking towards him instead of away, for a series of wonderful, joyful encounters - unexpected connection. Free exuberant hugs, hugs just for the sake of reaching out to another human being to connect. 

I am a hugger, and I’ll be honest and say I don’t offer them freely because I tend to read the person’s body language and many a times I end up pulling back. I for one don’t believe in throwing hugs and kisses away for free. But after watching Juan’s effort I can relate and believe that we all need a hug to feel loved, cared and simply happy. My American friend Lisa visited me in Bombay and she is always with open arms ready to hug absolutely anything. This was strange for me at times, I was curious and asked her “Why do you go hugging people?” her answer, “I am American I hug everything”. I didn’t know what to make of her politically correct statement. My sister Carolyn has the warmest hug and i miss her and her hugs dearly. She knows how to calm me down, if I am having a rough day or even when having fun. One wrap of the arms around me and I feel her warm energy ignite my weakness. It is joyous. It gives me hope. It lowers my blood pressure.

One of the best examples is airports, train stations or any place where people say goodbye for a long journey. Standing there in the arrivals terminal, watching other passengers meeting their waiting friends and family, with open arms and smiling faces, hugging and laughing together. I recently made a trip back home to Bombay, India and felt this exact emotion when I hugged my sister and dad, it’s an amazing rush of emotions and one can’t really put it in words. But when I arrived at Newcastle International Airport back from my holidays, there was no one at the arrival terminal, no one to hug or no one to feel happy to see me. But there were tons of other people who were eagerly waiting to hug, kiss and laugh together with their own family and friends this made me sad and happy at the same time.  Just a hug, just a smile, just a simple ‘welcome back’.

Jacques Prévert has written, “Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny instant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you.”  It feels as if we have lost some vital part of ourselves in a dense primordial forest of political correctness, awkward avoidance of other humans for fear of misunderstanding or offense, or the potential of sexual harassment charges, that siren song of “appropriate behaviour.” Why is a hug so fearful, I wonder? Is it that we have given up our need or our capacity for direct engagement? What fear drives our disconnect from one another?

 And what does free really mean? It means without condition, without expectation, freely given without cause or even without a determination of worthiness, without need or ulterior motive—how often do I really give freely? Are my gifts, instead, some odd expression of power or need on my own part?

The reason Juan Mann moved me so, I think, was that the free hugs were, in fact and in total, free. Give free hugs. At least four a day to survive. Aim for twelve. I have decided to make this a habit and offer a friendly hug to all my dear ones. These random acts of kindness, a selfless act performed by a person for the sole reason of making others feel better. So, the next time I bump into you a warm hug awaits you. 

Stop looking for your voice. Instead, start figuring out what you have to say.

KISS = STD and some interesting Facts..!

Ok, firstly, i don’t want you thinking that i am some freak trying to educated people about kissing or anything that comes along with it. I write about what i feel i should and yes, i spend enough time reading about the topic and getting my facts right, i don’t bluff.

Besides, we live in an age of extreme sexual tension, we have extreme fantasy and some may even be lucky to fulfil the ‘Things to do before i Die’ list. And some of us just die anyway. But the latest death trends have been through STDs and HIV-AIDS, all because the awareness is too little. And it all begins with a KISS.

My previous post was about that perfect pair of lips going to work with the one who brings out the best in you. Although some are out there wasting and throwing their kisses those are the ones we all need to be careful of.

Gonorrhea is a STD. It is also called clap. Bacteria spread gonorrhea. Most of us believe that kissing is very harmless. But kissing can cause Gonorrhea. Let me tell you more.

Gonorrhea - the affected areas
Gonorrhea bacteria affect most of the places in the body with mucous membrane. That includes the genitals, the anus and rectum, throat, and possibly eyes. The bacteria pass from secretions of any of the affected areas. Once your mucous membrane comes in contact with secretions of an infected person, you may contact Gonorrhea. Any sexual activity will transfer the bacteria. If the bacterium has invaded the throat of the infected person, a kiss will transfer it. If such a person performs oral sex on you, you will get Gonorrhea.

Gonorrhea complications-
Gonorrhea is a disease, which is better avoided. If it is left untreated, it can cause infertility in both men and women. In men it may even close the urethra , infect the testicles and create other complications, In women it may infect the fallopian tubes and may cause PID- Pelvic Inflammatory Disease which then leads to Cervical Cancer.

Gonorrhea - the early symptoms
Yellowish discharge from the penis or vagina, painful passing of stools, burning sensation in the genitals are some of the common symptoms of Gonorrhea.

 I have written this post only for informative purposes. This article is not intended to be a medical advice and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult your doctor for your medical concerns. I am no expert but one must read about it on the internet under reliable sources and please don’t take this as a be all and end all of the STD. This is just my research i thought it must be shared.

But all is not Gloom...KISS, some interesting Facts..!

•  It is a matter of record that Canadian porcupines kiss one another on the lips.
• The world's longest kiss took place on January 28, 2002. Louisa Almodovar and Rich Langly of New Jersey kissed for a record 30 hours, 59 minutes and 27 seconds on a segment of "Ricki Lake"
• Matrimonial pollsters' studies prove that a man who kisses his wife good-bye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than does the fellow who doesn't do that thing.
•  In medieval Italy kisses weren't taken, or given, lightly. If a man and a woman were seen embracing in public they could be forced to marry!
•  Our brains have special neurons that help us locate each other’s lips in the dark. (It's really true too! I've tried it!)
•  It is estimated that the average person will spend about 20,160 minutes kissing in their lifetime.
• You burn 26 calories in a 1 minute kiss.
• The first kiss ever shown in a movie was in 1896. The movie was called The Kiss.
• Hershey's Kisses got their name because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
• 50% of all people kiss before they turn 14. Kissing helps reduce tooth decay. Kissing increases the mouth's production of saliva, and saliva helps clean the mouth thus aides prevention of tooth decay.

PS: Happy Kissing. But handle them with care. Stay healthy.

It’s all in the Kiss..!

Most everyone loves a good, knee-buckling kiss. Lips lock, tongues are exploring, tasting, testing, circling, and arousing the very sensitive lips and inner mouth. It’s part of loving and simple magic and quite frankly, I don’t think there is anything that could be half as good – than a pucker on the lips.

The question may arise as to where kissing began? When did it become part of our life? For sure, caveman didn’t take time to plant a smooch on cavewoman. He just dragged her by the hair, bent her over a boulder, sniffed her butt and pillowed! No foreplay; at least not in the sense in which we define foreplay today. Perhaps that hair drag and butt sniffing routine was all the rage back then.

But where did it begin? Do we even know? Scientists link kissing back to ancient times when mothers chewed food to soften it for their children. This piece of information doesn’t work for me. More scientists believe that kissing is linked to suckling which every baby born must first do to survive. This one might work for the men.

Anthropologists have unearthed information that as early as 2000 B.C. various cultures thought that touching mouths together meant the joining of two souls. Now this sounds more likely to appeal to women. In addition, although the first recorded erotic kiss was shown to be in 1500 B.C. in India, the French were and are still given credit for the tongue tango we commonly refer to today as the French kiss. Its original name was the Maraichinage, or prolonged kiss.

There’s a great deal of information in the Kama Sutra about kissing, types of kisses, and how the Lat countries incorporated kissing on the thighs which the Chinese found just plain wrong! I’m assuming that the Lat countries are the Latin countries because I just can’t think of anyone else besides a hot-blooded Latin male who might venture down that garden path! But I digress.

University of Albany study conducted showed that there are significant differences between the sexes in the use of kissing. It states that men kiss as a means to an end; to get what they want (sex) or to say “I’m sorry” (which is still a means to an end for them).On the other hand, women use kissing to test and monitor where the relationship is going, and to get little updates on the current status of that relationship. My guess is if the kiss isn’t what it should be, the women get suspicious! All this is well and good, but what exactly happens physically that makes us all gaga over a good kiss? 

Well, just as the genitals are full of millions of ultra-sensitive nerve endings, so is the mouth and lips. When one mouth touches another, millions of signals hit the brain at once and start getting processed. The message is usually clear; “Release the Oxytocin!” Oxytocin is a feel-good, natural hormone that acts like a love opiate on the body. This hormone is released with several others together into the blood stream and a sense of euphoria follows. Kissing starts the trickle, and orgasm brings on the flood! Yes, yes!

However, more than just a good kiss is required by women to feel the level of bonding that men experience with just a kiss. Strangely enough, the U of Albany study showed that the level of Oxytocin rose in men during a kiss while it lessened in women. Kind of explains why men don’t often spend as much time in foreplay with women. They’re already there! They don’t realize that a woman’s sexual chemistry cocktail needs more stimulation. “Excuse me; I could use another refill here!”

Kissing evolved with courtship which, in turn, evolved the kissing. More and more, women began demanding kissing as part of lovemaking. In modern times, women won’t have sex without it, while some men have expressed they could have sex sans kissing. It’s a compromise. Women want kissing, and men want sex. Consider it a fair-market exchange. Women and even many men now place great importance and significance on the kiss.

I remember having a conversation with my best friend about how it would feel to kiss the man of my dreams. She said you would feel as if you have drunk litres of Red Bull, because his kiss will give you wings. Although, the idea sounds totally wicked (in a good way) i didn’t want wings, not really. All i want to hear while i kiss the man is bells and state of the art firecrackers and a foot pop, like they did in the good old days. Yes, i am old school, but then i like surprises and most of us women always wish that men surprise us always, if only they were more creative.

But still, it all starts with a kiss, a GOOD kiss, because no other kind will do. So the next time you grab your lover by the ears and plant one on him or her, think of all the wonder and magic that happens within the body the moment that you’re oh so sensitive lips meet. Okay, don’t think about it then. Maybe later. Much, much later!
 

A series of post will follow on this topic educating you of the pros and cons. First timers, take notes...!

For the rest. Happy Kissing.