When the Snobs unite

When you’re down and really need a smooth talker…that’s when people are snobs.
When you really need that strange friend…that’s when strangers too turn snobs.
You’re cold, desperate and running low on confidence and self-belief…that’s when the world of snobs unites against you.
The rain comes down and you need shelter and you never find one…that’s a confirmation that the forces of snobs are working against you.
And then you pause and think. I wish the animal kingdom were my friends and I could play with the worms and narrate my sorrow to the birds and cry with the pups.

Yes, I am in pain, yes I want to tell it to the world, yes I want to whine and brag about it; yes I want to be just the way I am. A new year has begun some say you can win this year, throw all your sorrows aside and face the new things that will come your way. Even though words are comforting, friends and family encourage you it’s not always enough. Being part of a series of unfortunate events will always play in the back of ones mind. How can one let go of being betrayed and misunderstood, guess very few and am certainly not one of them.
This is my story, 2008 was shaping out to be a good year for me, and I did a lot of exciting stuff and met a lot of exciting personalities too. But just when a climax was drawing I was backstabbed and shaken with a life-lesson.

The working life of an individual is the most important; one learns to earn his/her bread and butter, earns his contacts, builds his network of associates and tries his best to achieve what he/she aims in life. Sometimes the goals may seem impossible or imaginary but then whose father what goes, right? At 23, I wasn’t ready to learn a life-lesson of the measure that I did and I was clearly taken aback when it did dawn upon me. I was humiliated and accused by my team leader of being a person with attitude problems but I thought having ones attitude was good, wonder why TANTRA and other tees have got them all over? Unless one was growing into something unbearable and affecting relations at work. Jokes apart I was a bit surprised at this considering I have very good rapport with most people at my work place and even fake it well to put up with the ones I totally dislike. Next accusation that was bought against me was I mix pleasure with business and I was taken aback when I heard the reasons they gave me. “Being too friendly is not good, you are sending out the wrong signal and that’s not good for the company.” What the fuck does that mean?

Being an associate of the media world one has to have good contacts to get work done, if one wants to that is. And I don’t see the harm is sharing a light conversation after a tiring game, so then what’s wrong is telling a player, “well played” or “tough luck, good luck for the next game”. Both of these dialogues bring a smile even if fake on the persons face. Is that called mixing business with pleasure. Besides what business is it of anyone what I do during my non-work hours. Not like I am part of a scandal and I have taken the headlines of the all papers.
I refused to accept the second accusation bought against me, I have a clear conscience and it doesn’t prick me at all. The work guys obviously had no documentation or any sort of prove to show, seeing is believing they say! In my case it was pure hearsay. I sobbed for 3 hours in front of my organization CEO, HR and the person who backstabbed me my former team leader for whom I have lost all faith and respect.

After the episode was done with I got an apologetic text from the woman who ruined my peace of mind saying that whatever that happened wasn’t PERSONAL. I was surprised for her choice of words; didn’t she already cause personal damage to me when baseless accusations were bought against me in front of the CEO?

Then came Christmas, I would want to forget the 2008 Xmas as soon as possible because it was the dullest and the saddest one ever in my life. The CEO wanted me to rethink if I had a future with them and if I wanted to come back and work for them. I had a clear conscience and of course I didn’t want to come back to a place where one is seen more like a burden to the company but then was it the right thing to do? RECESSION has struck the market not having a job wasn’t going to be the end of the world, I am only 23! And 3 people thinking or wanting to think that I was an idiot wasn’t going to harm me in anyway even if one of them happen to be the CEO.

Opinions are like asses everybody’s got one, so said someone. I came determined to prove these suckers that I am an asset to the organization. And well they did give me a new role for the New Year, they added me part of the Business Team and I have a profile that says I am going to be the driver for all football accounts that the organization will have, sounds heavy, doesn’t it? But it’s not, at least so far!

I can go on and on perhaps even write a thesis about this life-lesson episode and about how the peace was ruined and how I didn’t have a jolly Christmas and more bla bla blab la…and of course you have no time to read once plight. I had fallen victim to jealousy and hearsay, at least that’s what most people have concluded for me and I have learnt that people who are the “yes men/woman” and “asslickers” actually get places but not too far am sure. A believer of the supreme power I know that better things awaits me and everyone who goes through a tough time. This episode has got me closer to prayers and to believe that God actually does exist.
I hold no grudge against the person who made me go through turmoil but then I guess what goes around comes around sooner or later. May god be the best judge here!

All India Football Farts {All India Football Federation (AIFF

The AIFF has been responsible for the affairs of football in India since its inception in 1937 in Shimla. FIFA then approved the formation of this body in 1948 and through this set up Indian football, which initially lacked a firm institution, now had an organization to give a proper boost and direction to the game.
One man who has headed the AIFF for 18 years is the Indian Union Minister for Information and Broadcasting Ministry Mr.Priyaranjan Dasmunshi, a position he has kept control of since 1988. His report cards on football are not impressive but let’s spare the time to judge what the man heading the body of the “beautiful game” has done in India. Of course, it is only in India where we would find the ‘minister of propaganda’ as the head of the football federation! It certainly helps to whirl the bad news of the long-lasting state of misery that Indian football finds itself in.

So, let’s see how the minister fairs up, after all 18 years is a significant time to affect a turnaround in a sport’s fortunes. In these 18 years India has not qualified for the World Cup and five of them have gone by. So what, many other countries have not qualified for the World Cup at all! It is a dream, many have not achieved. The Asian Cup perhaps? India last qualified for it in 1984 and after a 4-1 win in the 2008 AFC finals India gained direct entry to the prestigious Asian tournament after 24 years. Indian football is no stranger to adversity, hence to gain its points the relief comes from the South Asian Football Federation Cup (SAFF). Established in 1977 and includes countries like Bhutan, Myanmar, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Afghanistan and Maldives. These wins merit two lines in the FIFA news briefs and India has won four out of the last six titles.

The SAFF Cup has become the vital source of India’s wishy-washy movement in the FIFA rankings. The exposure tours to Portugal by the Indian team were initiatives of the national coach Bob Houghton who put pressure more than a request to the AIFF to let the team train abroad with facilities which are world-class. And the results of those trips were victory in the Nehru Cup 2007 and AFC Cup 2008. With back to back wins and gaining a promotion in the FIFA ranking, 151st position is definitely low but for Indian football a certain rise. The President has done very little to prop up the national team to play more matches to perk up the ranking or to gain international experience as a team.

In 18 years, the AIFF has changed 9 coaches producing no results and with Bob Houghton now taking over the hot seat his style of coaching seems to fit the Indian team and their success speaks for itself. But instead of investing in an experienced coach from the beginning to keep the game alive, the AIFF killed the interest of many football lovers in India by choosing to be lethargic about these vital decisions concerning the sport. Football stadia in the country lack basic facilities like dressing rooms, proper wash-rooms etc which is extremely disappointing. The federation has been oblivious to the basic details which play a major role in building the image of the game. Talking exclusively to this blog, Indian midfielder Mehrajuddin Wadoo explains this point further, “the poor condition of the game is because of the AIFF, FIFA and the government. They are not generous in providing proper facilities for footballers. We don’t get the same facilities like our European counterparts and that’s why the game is not so popular in many parts of the country.”

Basic infrastructure requirements and a need for youth programmes form the opening of a long list of complaints. The next blooper gives us a better picture of the mess. “When we are promised something, we should be getting it but it’s really pathetic that we have to wait for months together to see our promises materialize by the AIFF” says another national footballer who prefers to remain unnamed. Referring to the “promised something” as the match fees that is not delivered to the players on time. He then went on to make a stronger point saying, “The promises made by people (AIFF) have only been “air-talk”, look at the cricketers they get cores of rupees when they win, we are not money hungry but if we are promised something then it should be delivered.” This clearly shows how the AIFF is treating its players by denying them even their basic rights, leave alone making improvements in the facilities for the men who serve the national team. But despite all the odds the passion for the game drives most players to go out on the field and perform for their country time after time and the federation seems to abuse that passion. Sunil Chhetri remarks about this situation by saying, “Every time we wear the blue jersey and stand for the national anthem, it is an amazing feeling. The money generated while playing for the country isn’t enormous and we survive on the bulk of money we get playing for clubs.”

FIFA’s vision statement for Indian football is “Win in India with India” a programme designed to promote the game in the country and improve the present scenario. But despite the efforts being made by FIFA, Priyaranjan Dasmunshi and his team have been largely unsuccessful in abiding to any of the promises that were made on paper. Come to think of it, FIFA should give a red card to AIFF for the state of our football. An optimistic Sunil Chhetri explains what should be done by the AIFF, “The federation, coaches, players and media need to come together for the betterment of football.”

There are plenty that the AIFF needs to address if, that is, it harbours hopes of making India a big footballing country even in Asia. The federation needs to have a professional approach and avoid bloopers. Perhaps someone needs to also challenge the minister who has occupied the seat for 18 years, a revamp of the office maybe? FIFA President, Joseph S.Blatter made a trip to India to promote the vision statement in India and remarked about the football condition, “In many aspects, India is a sleeping giant which needs to wake up.” It’s now AIFF’s duty to respond to the vision statement and work towards bearing some fruits or else the sleeping giant shall be rest to peace forever. And India should not miss a chance to leave a footprint into the most “beautiful game”.

Natasha D’souza
(An Indian football lover who wants CHANGE)

Feeling African for a CHANGE!

Among many faces of humanity that of love, care, affection, hatred, jealousy, terrorism, castes differences etc individuals will also find one of the most hurting and cruel faces of “Racism”. The world is obsessed with the ‘White Skin’ and every Sally, Molly, Dolly, Tom, Dick and Harry wants to have a fair skin or else they might not have perfection in getting the right man/woman to marry, plight of discomfort in a dark skin is what they don’t want to be part off. And in the process the person is so focused in getting the results in the said time period. The whites have clearly had the upper hand for a long time. But is that all about to CHANGE... I know the word has been tossed around a lot but are we going to witness something different?

Yes, the Obama historic win and the Lewis Hamilton win have become unforgettable images of an ultimate success no longer restrained because of the colour of their skin. When the twin towers came crashing down the world was never going to be the same again. Yet again is that period when change comes over and things will not be the same again as America gets its first black president and the F1 world its first black race champion. The world is watching and is not blind to the success that the “black man” has achieved purely on self- belief and the determination to be a name of change.

The Obama effect will take a long to fade off from the minds of the people and that’s a good thing because the racist attacks will increase manifold and it would be one of the challenges that has always remained an issue to deal with. So what’s the whole gig here, we know that the topic has been jabbed around by many people and my point here is no different just that this time I was there to witness how it feels to be Afrosized.

The one thing that you gain knowledge of as a growing journalist is to learn as much as you can and exploit the source of wisdom as well. And I for one have been extremely lucky to be part of the learning curve, its nice to learn something new everyday, discover facts and sometimes even better when your witness to a situation etc. So the following is my side of the story of feeling African for two hours with my friends Elijah and Amos, my football freinds.

We all know India is land of culture, tradition and rich ancient history. A place where a thousand gods reside of all faith and perhaps that’s what makes the world marvel at us. And despite many communal problems we have survived and still will for centuries together, religious harmony is something that we are all learning. But the new fade creating a problem in the land of the gods is the colour of the skin you have. That’s right the “colour” a very racist idea but that’s the fact and I wonder if they’ll declare a holocaust on having a darker shade of skin.

For an African visiting the city it’s always a tough task to survive not because they get bullied easy while street shopping like every other foreigner but because they have the “black skin” and are normally known to be cheats and drug addicts. And because of stereotype behavior of society, seeing is acting for many individuals hence the dishing out to the Afros is nothing new. It has been happening since a long time, Hitler did it, the Brits did it, the Australian proudly intended to be a white only nation and the classic ‘Apartheid’ movement tops the list. So what happen to my Afro friends and me was the scripted moment…

The guys wanted to grab a bite after getting done with a meticulous training session under the sun and I was there for company. It was a dissimilar occurrence to have the company of African friends as I had never been out before and so I knew I would experience a difference and so was it. We entered Food Inn, an eatery joint at Colaba Causeway, and as we entered the restaurant we got the “look” more than a warm “welcome to my restaurant smile” that a visitor would get otherwise. And that’s where the sense of being lost happened but in my head I could relate more as an African than Indian because I have a darker shade of skin I have been witness to many taunts that I have got purely due to the colour of my skin. And it’s a fact I found hard to digest when I was growing up but obviously I’ve learnt it the hard way and grown out of it.
We made our orders and the waiter swiftly walked away to get us the food. As we waited at least 15-20 minutes for a dish that didn’t require so much time to get cooked…I know coz I’ve been there ordered the same dish and got in like 2minutes. So I enquired with the waiter, “Kya hua order ka” (What’s happen to the order?) And the reply was “yes yes madam!” Both my African friends could also read what was happening, I tried to deviate and got them to talk about football since it was something common we share. As we got talking the food arrived and everybody ate well and enjoyed every bite.

After some lip smackin’ delayed ‘mutton korma curry’, sweet lime soda and banana milkshake we took a walk to the Gateway of India. As we stopped and enjoyed the nightlights we spoke everything almost everything under the night sky and it was among the best date (not in the actual sense now) I have been at, a very interesting conversation in a long time. Guys need to know one thing, women like it when the “men” talk good stuff…so! And we spoke football, history, racism situations, fun stuff, bitched about everything we could accommodate in that time. People passed by and looked with an expression that was “what the hell is an Indian girl doing with two Afro guys?” but I didn’t bother I stood with the lads and enjoyed the conversation and the time spent.

The meeting up with my Afro friends had a perfect climax, it was scary but it was a different thing. On a perfect weekday at the Marine Drive a place that will never get one bored the cool breeze and the night skyline. We sat there enjoying the site and shared our talks and gossiped perpetually about everything and yes Junior and I were trying to understand the “wanted someone who could the 90mins gig”. And Junior has this cheeky smile on every time we talk about it. And as we three are enjoying the evening a silly stranger walks up to us inquiring where my Afro friends were from and that I should go and show them places. I lost it for a minute coz he sneaked up to us and sat to listen to our conversation; in the most polite tone I told him please excuse us. He left mumbling something and a look on his face as if I were a hooker or helping them plot something huge. Silly how you get the looks when you have a coloured man besides you.
The Afro effect is something….and CHANGE beckons us all.

Change is good.

It's natural in football to get taken out of the playing XI if you don't supply the goods and its only wise for any coach to show the players the bench. That's what Mahindra United coach Derrick Pereira did to Steven Dias and NP. Pradeep wanting to do something different and surprisingly it worked to his credit. The team won 2-0 against a struggling Vasco Sports Club.

But then is all the powers of the cosmic at work here or do Steven and NP really bring a bad luck factor to the team?

I would like to think of it as a "bad patch" period for both the lads, i mean its football at the end of it. If you cant kick it, it kicks you. The win was a welcome change to all Mahindra fans as the team is out of relegation zone, for now. The jeep men will have to buckle up and play more consistent football if they aim to finish in the top 3 of the league this season.

Coming back to the Steven Dias, his form has been of concern to many as he faces a never ending ankle injury that is still nagging him to be away from being fully fit. The national team player is always ready to put in an extra effort to play his football with all the energy that he can emote. He is also the instant favourite among the coaches only for his commitment shown to the game. He is always the first to arrive for practise and a total team man as he never picks a favourite team mate over another. "i love all of them" says Steven who is known to entertain his pals with good stand up comedy.

This season may have begun on a rough note for the "Indian dynamo" but a consistent form would do him a world of good. His crucial passes and long ball shots have helped both country and club to get the much needed goals. This Mumbai boy needs to play his football with the same vigour and keep a good run for himself into the beautiful game.

A very humble person off the field and someone who loves to have fun when not playing football, he does boost of a very strong female fans along with his male fans as well. A talented footballer, Steven Dias is one of the hot properties of Indian football and with his skills its only time that he takes his skill out of the country as well.

We wish Stevie D good luck for the season ahead. Hope to see him on the starting XI.

When its not LOVE!

I looked around for you

But all i saw was strangers

I looked around again

But all i saw was shadows of unknown passerby




The third time i looked around

I saw you with another woman

Holding her hands, just the way we used when we were in love.



I was sad, i was wasted, i was mad

Not to read the signals

But i was blinded by the possibilities to be in love with you forever.



You never got the meaning of my love

You never read between the lines

You couldn't be what you said you could be

I think Elvis was right when he wrote the song "Hound Dog"

He wrote it for souls like u.



But am done with the tears and the heartache

Am on my own again

Looking around for someone again

Just a matter of time till am hooked to loving someone again.

Natasha D'souza

I-League 2008-09

It seems as if the script of Manchester United’s start to the season has also got Mahindra United into the loop. Called the Indian “Red Devils”, they have been on the loosing side of the game in their start to the season. The 2008 Durand Cup winners found it tough to retain their stint against the finalist of that tournament -Churchill Brothers and failed to retain their dominance on home turf loosing to newbie’s Chirag United.
The first match against Churchill Brothers was one of the worst performances put by a squad that boasts of national team players. Coach Derrick Pereira said, “We have to improve our game plan and connect our passes and capitalize on the chances that come our way, which we didn’t.” With the transfer saga of Steven Dias and NP.Pradeep put to rest, the team hoped to see a stand-out performance from India’s star players but lack of match practice saw them struggle in the game as well. “They haven’t played any games after the AFC Cup and that’s one reason for their lack of form.” explained the United coach.
The home game for Mahindra United was a perfect chance to gather some confidence into a shaky start to season. The ‘Cooperage’ played host to Chirag United and a houseful crowd made a good contest between one of the strongest team in the league against the newly promoted Chirag United. The first half was dominated by the “Red Devils” and a Sushil Kumar Singh goal put the home team ahead. Chirags’ coach was seen marching down the sidelines often, than his players who failed to connect their passes. Hardeep Singh, who was Chirag’s hero in the last match, took the field before the second-half of play. A gamble which helped Chirag gain control of the game.
After the lemon break, Chirag United came in determined to give in more than just a fight. With better work- rate by most Chirag players, they found the net three times in the second half. And one Hardeep Singh was truly the “King”. Trashing Mahindra United 3-1 on home turf will do a world of good for the considered babies of the I-League.

Natasha D'souza.